Beating the Bulge

The Secret of Weight Loss

by Michael on 12/07/09 at 4:34 pm

This week I inadvertently discovered the secret of weight loss. My coach, Susan, and I had a harrowing session on Wednesday. She was smashing her head on the table at the Second Cup so hard that I’m sure she had nasty bruise on her forehead by the time she got home. You see, for a little over a week I’ve been stuck. My weight wasn’t moving and my frustration was growing. So Susan pushed me to make some kind – any kind – of commitment where my food was concerned. “If there is one thing that’s untouchable, what would that be?” That’s easy – my Sunday morning greasy-spoon breakfast. I love to hit the Village Rainbow Restaurant early on a Sunday morning. I read a magazine and chow down on three eggs, three sausages, three strips of bacon, two pieces of toast, and home fries. It’s more calories than anyone should eat in one meal and probably enough grease to induce an instant heart attack in small mammals, but I love it! And after a whole week of slogging it in boot-camp class and at the gym, I’m ready for a treat.

The next part of Susan’s exercise was not so easy: So how is the rest of the week going to look? What are you going to do? I knew that I had to say no Pepsi, no candy bars, no chips, no McDonald’s, and my eating has to be clean. I didn’t want to say it because I knew that I didn’t want to have to make a commitment that (a) I really didn’t want to make, and that (b) I  really wasn’t sure I could keep. Eventually, Susan pushed and got a little more bitchy. And I pushed back and made some more excuses. And finally I said it: Except for Sunday breakfast, the rest of my week’s meals have to be clean and my daily calorie intake needs to be under 2,500 calories. (My BMR is 3,200 calories, so hitting between 2,200 and 2,500 would create a 1,000 to 800 calorie deficit every day; and with my exercise, I should end up losing a couple of pounds a week.)

Further, my motto for the week is: No Excuses. This is an easy one because I have it tattooed on my left bicep. I got the tattoo a couple of years ago in a moment of bravado, but never really lived up to the motto. It ended up like a scar from some horrible accident that I had caused, something that would always remind me of my negligence. But now, Susan was helping me claim that “scar” back and turn it into the thing of motivation I desired when I got it inked on my arm. I got the tattoo after I had seen Kyle Maynard on Oprah. Kyle was born a congenital amputee with his arms ending at his elbows and his legs at his knees; but he went on to become a champion on the wrestling mats. And his book No Excuses is what inspired my tattoo.

I limped home from my coaching session, and along the way, I saw some guy eating a slice of pizza. I almost turned at the next corner to hit my favourite pizza joint, but stopped myself. Another exercise is that I was suppose to notice the excuses that pop up in my head. “I’ll start it after these two slices of pizza,” that little demon whispered in my ear. I carried on home, but that little demon kept whispering. Finally, after my partner left for the billiards hall and I was by myself, I decided to have a TV night. Fuck it! I hit the DVD store, then picked up a bag of chips, a tub of dip, and a Kit Kat; then I picked up those two pieces of pizza. A couple of hours later I wondered where all that food had gone and why didn’t I feel full – or any better.

It was my last hurrah and the next morning I woke and vowed to get to work on my commitment. That day I ended up doing 2,541 calories, and the following day 2,532; and when I got on the scale on the third morning, I was down two pounds. So I had discovered the secret of weight loss: You really do have to seriously commit to a strict program of diet and exercise. It doesn’t matter how many boot camps you do, it doesn’t matter how hard your trainer kicks your ass or how fast you walk; if your calories are bouncing from 1,800 to 3,600 a couple of times a week, you’re just not going to lose weight. I know we’re all looking for some deep, dark secret of weight loss, but it really is that simple. We don’t want to hear it, and it’s taken me several months to get that through my thick, stubborn head, but that’s really the way it is. And I hope I’ve learned that one.

So for the past three days my calories have been coming in pretty close to 2,500 calories and it’s felt manageable. I haven’t felt deprived, but I’ve been very careful with my portions. I’ve been measuring everything. For instance, I love cashews, they’re a wonderful treat for me. But, they’re high in fat and calories; so, when I buy a bag of them, I immediately parcel them up into 1 oz servings in small plastic containers. So when I want a snack, the math is done for me. Yesterday, Ted and I headed out for a walk, and he said, “Where was that fish and chip place we saw recently?” and then adding, “Oh that wouldn’t be good for you, would it?” That’s his way of being the supportive husband and if I choose to say, “Oh it’s alright,” then he’s absolved of any responsibility or feelings of guilt. But this time I said, “No, I can’t do fish and chips today. My only indulgence this week is my breakfast tomorrow.”

So, I had my big breakfast this morning. It was good and I loved it, but half way through I thought, “Man, this is a lot of food and my stomach is feeling different.” I think it was a feeling of being full or satisfied. So I think that after another week of strict eating I’ll probably want to reduce that big breakfast a little. I can still have it, but instead of three of everything, I can do two of everything. I think I would have felt just as satisfied with that.

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