Day 36 - Can I Have a Do Over?

by Michael on 01/06/09 at 2:31 pm

Day 36 - Can I Have a Do Over?

My friend M. and I were talking about our weight loss journeys and she was telling me how she has re-evaluated her program and designed a new goal: She wants to lose 20 pounds by the time she goes on summer vacation. (I think that was it.) And I thought it was a great idea. Losing a hundred pounds is huge, but it’s almost impossible to see the end of a project that big. And while “my journey to lose 100 pounds” sounds impressive, when you’re doing it a pound at a time, it can feel endless.

So I decided that I could set a short-term goal of losing 30 pounds by my birthday in the middle of September. That’s two pounds a week and that’s totally reasonable. But I haven’t weighed myself for three weeks, so I decided I needed to see where I was before I could start this new goal. (Read: No More Bathroom Scales.) When I arrived at the gym last Tuesday for my workout, I got on the scales. What a mistake! The scale said I gained six pounds. How is that possible? How can I work out for three weeks and gain six pounds? I can hear the “muscle weighs more than fat” choir clicking the comment button. Please don’t. It’s a sure fire way to get me riled up and on a rampage. Have you ever seen a 312-pound man – no wait 318-pound man – on a rampage? It’s not pretty.

So, my poor trainer, Phil, was stuck in the gym with me for a whole hour. Phil, God bless him, he’s the most patient man on the planet, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him angry; and he’s got this silly laugh that is so infectious. He has listened to me blather on about my stuff for a couple of years now and he’s always got something positive to say. But this day he’s really pissing me off. He keeps diverting the conversation away from my question: How is it possible that I’ve gained six pounds? And I know that he’s trying to divert me, so that’s pissing me off all the more. His partner, Daryl, got the brunt of it when he walked by and asked, “How’s it going? Looks like you’re doing well? Are you okay?” Daryl’s still walking funny after I ripped him a new one, which reminds me, I should probably apologize.

I calmed down a bit when I got home and weighed myself on my own scale, which showed a four-pound weight gain instead of six. And then, by the time I checked my morning weight, it was only a pound. But still, I just don’t get why this is going this way. Well that’s not true, I absolutely get that I’m taking in more calories than I’m burning. And I think what happens with me is that when I start working out I begin the get more relaxed with my eating. “I’m burning up lots of calories!” or “The furnace needs to be stoked!” or “I’m making muscle and muscle burns calories all day long, even when you’re resting.” So I begin taking little liberties.

I just feel so defeated. I feel like I’m going to be that 800-pound man wrapped in a bed sheet who is carted out of his home by a team of firefighters. But the problem is that I live on the fifteenth floor, so they’ll have to put a crane on the roof and blast a hole in the side of my building and lower me to the ground with all of Church Street standing and watching. The neighbourhood’s drag queens will throw an impromptu street show to entertain the gathering crowd of onlookers. They’ll sing choruses of It’s Raining Men, but no one will be shouting, “Hallelujah!”

I was pissed. And for the rest of the week and fell into “I don’t give a shit” mode. And this had led me to today, day 36, where I weigh 317.6 pounds on my home scale. So now I really have put on six pounds. And now I’m really pissed. And embarrassed, too, because all of you reading my blog and signing up for my tweets know it, too. But there’s a sun on the horizon – it’s Monday! And Monday is always a great day to start a new diet, a new fitness regime, a new promise. I’ve lived a whole life of Mondays. I know how to do Monday. The key is to make sure that there are six other days in this week.

Alright, so I need to get real. Obviously eating well for anything less than 90% of the time isn’t going to work toward achieving my long-term goal and going to the gym when I feel like it isn’t going to work either. So I need to get serious. My six-pound weight gain isn’t a mystery. I’m eating more than I should and I’m not burning enough calories, it’s that simple. So today, I’m armed with a new workout routine that’s geared towards losing weight and I’m dusting off my food journal. It’s back to the basics. And unfortunately, I’ve got some cardio to do this week. Ugh! Today’s workout is 30 minutes of cardio and a chest / quads / tricep / abs routine. “I don’t give a shit” mode is over. Time to get busy. Have a good Monday everyone!

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2 Responses to “Day 36 - Can I Have a Do Over?”

  1. Wendy Limbertie

    Jun 3rd, 2009

    Nice to see you back again Michael… yes it’s dam hard.. and dam frustrating when you gain… just remember.. that working out at the gym only burns about 500 calories for a 2 hour workout… you need to have a 1000 calories deficit for 5 straight days to lose 1 pound. So if you cosumme 2000 in a day, burn say 500 at the gym, plus another 2000 just in daily stuff.. that’s only a 500 calorie deficit… that ’s the key! most people think.. oh well. I’m burning at the gym, I can eat more.. wrong! … so stick to only eating no more than 1500 calories a day. and you will see much more weight fly off!! belive me!
    Count you calories at all times! that’s the secret! Good luck my fellow fat fighter!

  2. Susan

    Jun 3rd, 2009

    Blame it on the weather, the astrological forces in place, no - seriously this is what happens when we are trying to change, we get tested, hit bumps, cry out “this sucks”, or as Julie Cameron suggests “kriyas” adult temper tantrums, cause somehow we just need to pretend it really doesn’t matter if we change or not - Yet it does- for so many reasons, those deep seated reasons that get you out of your muck and on with it. Yes, it’s a major reality check just to see if you are paying attention! And you are!
    I’m so glad you mentioned short term goals - totally necessary and must be built into any long term vision/goal. So get to it and be compassionate to yourself when you feel otherwise.

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