Beating the Bulge

Day 24 - My Man Boobs are Getting Perky

by Michael on 20/05/09 at 1:15 pm

I haven’t weighed myself since day five when I posted “No More Bathroom Scales.” And honestly, it hasn’t been that hard. Although I have to admit that this morning, when I got out of the shower, I looked under the bathroom sink for the scales. It was a momentary slip, but in the end, I’m glad the scales weren’t there.

But in the absence of weighing myself and fixating on a number, how do I gauge my progress? First of all, isn’t it completely halfwitted to let a number on a machine govern my feelings? If I look good and feel healthy at 230, shouldn’t that be okay? Or what about 210, is that a better number? Or how about the 180 I weighed when I started university, that’s probably a better place to be, right? Losing 100 pounds still puts me at a higher poundage than most weight charts recommend, but I’m not worrying about that for now. And not knowing what the scales say at the beginning of this process forces me to find other benchmarks to measure my success. And what I’m learning is that these other yardsticks are more appropriate, accurate, gentle, and less likely to send me binging through a bag of potato chips.

For instance, I’ve been noticing that stomach is getting smaller and less rotund, and my man boobs are no longer sitting on my well-rounded belly, but they’re developing a certain perkiness. And the other day, I reached inside my shirt collar to scratch an itch, and I felt a firm and solid shoulder. As soon as my fingers fell into the curve I thought, “Wow! What’s this?” And I can certainly feel that my legs are tightening up.

But there are other things, too. I got up last Saturday and went to the gym. I don’t normally work out on weekends, so this was a change. And it wasn’t a struggle to do. Monday was a busy day and by the time gym time arrived late in the afternoon, I could have very easily just packed it in, but I pushed myself and went anyway. And during my Saturday  and Monday workouts I did table tops for 30 seconds. Table tops are when you lie flat on a mat, then rise and support yourself on your forearms and toes. They’re a bitch! And a few weeks ago I could barely do 10 seconds. But now, after 30 seconds I felt like I could probably do them for longer. “Then why didn’t you!” screams the Jillian Michaels inside my head.

Last night, I finished my dinner and had my dessert, and I was done. I didn’t eat anything for the last couple of hours of my day. (It probably helped that I didn’t watch television.) But still, this is very new and usually the end of my day is a huge struggle. I thought about grabbing a snack, but I paused, did a hunger check, and said, “No, I’m good. I don’t need anything.”

So I am making progress. I don’t know how much in traditional pounds, but it’s much more exciting to discover small, but still discerable changes in my body. It’s encouraging to see that I’m getting stronger, and certain tasks or movements are getting easier. And isn’t that what this journey is all about?

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